Was just thinking of you yet again and wanted to tell you that I had a bit better day today. But on the looney line met a nice person who wasnt a freak Rachael that lost her mum to cancer 5 yrs ago. She shared her personal pain and anger so its nice to know what I am feeling is partly normal. But it was nice to know I wasnt going insane. Maybe you could say her and Thanks to her mum for bringing her to me to show me something... Grief is a natural part of life. Went fishing the oda day with Jas and the kids I hit Pud ova the head with a fishing rod just keeping her in line lol. Well its late and I have just finished my shift. And today has been a bit weird with spirits around so maybe you can push them along to let me get a good nights sleep. I know you think its heebie damm jeebie stuff but hey it is what makes me. Me. ' The kids were laughing the other night saying poppy going to so impressed he going to be up there Karokeing with not only Elvis Parsley as you called him but also Whacko Jacko. I had to sit there and watch it with the kids cause they said you were watching it. Chris let out that whistle you used to do when in impressed with something when he seen MJ's casket of Gold. They make you laugh these kids drive me insane. Kylie said the other day they getting queerer living over here. Well Dad big work day tommorow. I need some sleep keep them spooks away from me tonight. Love You Forever Kimbo xx

Hello my Dardy, I am sorry there isnt much here but Mum has been here and I didnt want to upset her more. I have wrote and deleted numerous times. Dad she is finding it so hard to cope and I really dont know what to do to help. She has now gone back down to Leanne's, as I know deep down she didnt know what to do or say to help me when she was dealing with her own grief. I love her but I dont know how to express it. I feel I am letting you down as I made you that promise in the hospital. Im soooo sorry Dardy. You know I would move heaven and hell just to make you happy. You and I just sitting there of a night ,when I am working we have that time, I know I am blessed, but it is not the same. When Mum left I was so scared she was going to take you, but I knew deep down I could have you until September and she knows how close we are and wouldnt break that bond even though I know she needs you. I dont know where I stand any more. I dont know who I am. I miss you so much as usual I have to stop the sobs in the middle of the night so they dont wake the kids, as they too miss you so much. I thought I was coping with the anger of God taking you but deep down Im not. You were my best friend, and my Dardy. I havent cried for two days as there is so much going on around here Dad and I dont know where to start to fix it.And let me tell you those tears are flowing and they wont damm stop. I could ring you , you would listen while I off loaded and and things always turned out. But they arent turning out, is it because I am going against the Grain of life.? Im trying to chase the smiles I can remember 3 good days since you have passed. The kids always bring a smile to my face and always recall those wonderful mental albums of memories.As you said people can take anything from you material but they can never take your memories. I did relize there was so many things about you they didnt know. But maybe it was because I was too selfish to share them. We often sit and talk of you and they are always gut wrenching funny stories, we all remember as that is the type of person you were. Funny as hell even funnier. Funniest person I have ever known. Most people wouldnt see that as funny but you and I always knew every one else was just a flock of turkeys. Well here I am Psychic or psycho as u liked to call me of the yr who cant see the wonderful and positive things, but I know that is my selfishness. My Readings are excelling above and beyond anything I would have ever imagined in this lifetime. Ive pulled away from everyone and I know it hurts them but Im hurting and I dont know what else to do. Im sick of these tears. So I put 200% and beyond into work just trying to convince myself it makes a diffrence, when really I know it doesnt. The Tears Dardy .When do they run out???? Sobbing quietly when I am going to sleep as to not wake any one. I know when you are around before you think I do as I smell you. When I smell you I always dream of you and I know I tell you to go away in my dreams but Dardy I really dont mean it. I am just trying to stop the pain. The meditations I see meet you in and you being in my house should be enough to convince me but you did love me but sometimes its not. These Tears have wet my clothes Dardy please just show me the signs of what I am meant to do, or how I am meant to deal with this. I miss your voice so muchhhhh especially when times are tough and its only been a few months. I dont sleep properly and never have ,as my mind brings up your last days but I know and feel you are telling me to remember the good times, and I do its just so damm hard Dardy. Its nearly 2am I betta go to bed. I havent been the most loving person to be around lately as all I do is work and sleep, but I am trying to change that. I had a lovely day with the kids today. Dardy just know that I do need help now from you to help me to continue to grow but know most of all I loved you with everything and more...Dardy its not fair.. Kylie and Leanne have Mum and it feels like I have no one... Its so not fair. I loved you so much and you left me... Talk Soon LOVE you and Missss you so much Bimbo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Jimbo, yes me again. Today I was just so over reading I tell you sometimes it really does your head in. Even though I dont feel it I know there are people out there more desperate and more freakish then me who do need more then I do. I windge about reading as there are some real freaks out there but tonight I meet the first decent one in ages, Her name is Rachael and she lost her Mum to cancer 5 yrs ago. Maybe you can say hi to her for me and tell her thanks for having a lovely daughter who was nice enough to share something so personal. So it was nice of her to share her pain and anger so I can see it is normal. Well havent heard of mum today she went walk about the other day lol missing in action for 4 hrs but I know she needed time out. I will let you know how the her Drs Appt went. Well her and aunty dot are moving in together soon. Mum is still so flat and lost you can hear the desperation in her voice. I have been ringing every few days to check on her as I know she is not ok but still trying to give her the space she needs. She says we have our own lives but she doesnt relise she is part of our lives. Slap her one from the other side. Im really missing you today, but as people always tell me life must go on. But its hard. I went fisihing the other day and hit pud ova the head with a fishing rod just for the hell of it lol. Well Dardy must go time for me to go bed as its nearly 1am and I really do need some sleep today something hasnt been right. Love you Forever Kim xx

I wanted to say one little thing: I too lost a dardy but the dardy on this corner left me with a gift that comforted me greatly when I missed one - so I am sure he was wonderful man and will gain a wonderful rebirth . May you not know sorrow any more.

akimmy89

15 years ago

Hey my Dardy Well as per usual Its the middle of the night. I still cant sleep like so called people do. Im wondering if they are really normal at all. Karen came over tongiht she has been a god send to a degree cause she too lost her dardy. It seems the longer you have been gone the harder you are to talk about wifout tears wellin in my eyes. I know i of all people should know , that it was only ur body and not ur soul.Our body is just our over coat but this pain that its causing is just ripping me apart . I have no zest for life and love of laughter anymore. I cant understand it as no matter what I always lived and did what I wanted within. But now I feel guilty I dont understand that I went threw the anger and hurt and still go threw the hurt but what is the guilt? is that because im still here and dont understand what I am meant to do next >>>????? I ,miss your voice \Love upi Bimbo xx

Just a few of the wonderful memorys I had the pleasure of sharing with my Dardy. Love you in this life time and the next Dardy xxxxx Kimbo

The years weve shared have been full of joy, The memories made will go on and on. I havent Stopped Crying sinc you went away. Its so not fair you couldnt stay. Three months have passed, I’ll never forget the day, Jason had rang to tell me ,That you’d gone away The hurt is the same, Like an open wound There are days I don’t utter a sound Some days the pain is stronger It makes me sick and weak ,I can’t stand this much longer I just sit here and weep I’ve shut my private door And let no one in Locking myself in a box They try, but I won’t give in You were like a rock Strong, faithful and true What worth has my life Now I don’t have you I was your first born, Daddy’s little girl I took my own path But was still part of your world I was not the best Guilty of neglect But you know daddy dearest but that never stopped you loving me back I always loved you My Dardy, my star so bright, Now ,my pain is To worship you from afar , its just not right, I love you now As I did back then I just hope... one day I will see you again I am so proud of you Brave and strong to the end Now when asked “how are you?” There is no need to pretend We all love and miss you so much, rest and take care of all who went before, but wait for me Dardy xxxx *********************************************************************************************** A letter to my Dardy, Oh Dad why is this world so unfair nearly three months and i still cant share. My world is blue when I sit here and type, I have your jumper on but still cant write. Ive had good days and bad but they seem so long. I sometimes wonder how I carry on. Id give anything in this world just to hear you say "Hello Kid" and hummm an ha me as you did when you listened to anything and everything I had to say. The kids are missing you but talk to you daily. Maybe it helps them cope i dont know cause Im too scared to ask. There is always a funny story we have to share. The kids acknowledge you when they leave for school and come home sitting in the lounge next to your ashes telling you of their day. I know your here I feel you around. How can me being psychic help me now.? You have come to me twice but i just hope you understand I wasnt ready thats why I broke down. Its still hard to cope knowing you are not going to ring. I cant change the numbers in my phone as it scares me. When mum rings it still has Jimbo come up on the house ph and when my mobile rings it says dardy and ma. The dressing down you loved so much mum washed for me when she was up here as I couldnt bring myself to do it as I could still smell you . Its been washed and I still smell you daily on it when I I go to my cupboard and touch it. I know I was blessed to have you for so long but there was so much I still had to say. Of course only I would have that much to say and it didnt matter what it was you would listen. It feels like no one listens to me now and that Im screaming on the inside for everyone to pay attention but it feels as though it falls on deaf ears. My words cannot express the love that I still carry Dard I have days when Im just so sad. I know you wouldnt want it that and you would tell me to knock it off. Its so hard just not hearing your voice. My eyes are red from weeping again. I honestly didnt think one person could have this many tears...I just know this pain will never end. Im lost Jimbo what do I do ? I dont know how Im going to get through the rest of my life without you.. You were my light my inspiritation and my joy. The funny stuff you would come out with would make anyones day. Its nearly 1.00am Im too scared to sleep when Im sleeping I just seem to sit and weep. Im trying dad but its so hard. I dont know how to keep things going. Mum is lost I try not to upset her when she rings the tears stream down my face in silence. She is moving up in a wk or two she is like my connectin to you. Dammm I miss you so much word cannot express it. How does dardys gal cope with out her Dardy ??? You know I love to write so this is going to be my outlet to help get out what Im feeling. Love you Darday Bimbo xxxxxxxxx